Well I’ve been spending lots of time. Inside outside. My mind is elsewhere. They say I’m losin it but that’s just fine. I just want to lose it. Throw it. Blow it. Chuck it. Ok thats enough. I want to quit my job. I don’t want it in my eyesight any longer. They are honestly honest people. But the idea of it. I don’t want to participate in it. I don’t want to participate whatwitchsoever.
Always pushing against the opposite sex. Maybe I was supposed to be a boy. My twin switched places on me for free. I deserve what comes to me. I’ve been ruthless. When there was to be compassion.
I spend time in different dimensions. Slowly getting slithered back by the snakes tongue. I’m impressionable.
In the most absurd places is where my mind spends time with the space caddette. Blurry suspense.
Everyone around you is crazy. Get up and leave! They don’t know what second hand poison they’re spoiling. I’m breathing your gobbldygook. And I’m done breathing.
Changing to a different thinker. The later things seem so trivial. Would I really worry about what i said?
Sometimes I’m just yelling at myself to not get distracted! To not get distracted by the bullshit this life has to offer. I have to remind myself to stay afloat. Not on the ground. Otherwise I’ll be slurped up like chicken noodle soup. Don’t eat me I taste like tofu.
I got on a bus to Boston the other day. I got some vegan pizza and some beer. It’s really cheap to go, there are a lot of people who attend. So I think the gas/people ratio is pretty economical. I think I’m gonna get on a train… and never come back. No just kidding. But where is that train if I ever wanna do that. Harry.
So my goal is to write until the entire page is filled with my gobbldygook but we’ll see how that goes. And yes gobbldygook is a real word. My mind wont stop walking. So I make it take some music for the road. Here’s what Ive been listening to…
The Replacements-Let it be was purchased by me. You’re my favorite thing. I also can’t get the Outcasts out of my fucking head. They make me really feel like I have feelings and that I should ache over them. I really am self consious over… well, a lot of things haha but thats just not an option anymore. The Darks, Chemical Warfare. The Mob, Witchhunt for Jess. The Berlin Express. Some good post punk I found. I sit at Academy off 1st ave. for a bit here and there. Cory picks shit out for me. This is what he found. Tangorodrim. I think they’re a L.A. black metal band. They’re more like black punk. I don’t know if that’s a genre but maybe I just made one. A racist one. Shit. They are really good. I kinda wanted it to be my first black metal record but I was advised against it. That I should try and find a Hellhammer one. I saw Until the Light takes Us. I thought it was pretty good. maybe some more music could have been played? Oh and it could just have never ended. Fenriz is awesome. And so is Count Grishnackh. Just go ahead and kill eachother. But it’s true. Burzum’s first records are unbelievable. But anyways, Negative Plane was cool, okay, I liked it, maybe. I might have to listen to it again. I really liked this girl, I think she’s from Paris and is on In the Red records. Lili Z. She’s noisy, dark, and rambunctious. I like her. And I believe she recorded everything herself? Don’t count on me. The Victims. “I WANT HEAD TILL IM DEAD.” What an anthem. Everyone should live by that. Where would I be? Where would you be without Bowie? Johny, I’m only dancing. Beast of beast. The Avengers “its the american in me that makes me watch t.v.” Abbrassive Wheels. Mono. Suicide Commandos”attacking the beat.” MAKE A RECORD.Wipers “same old thing.” I’m also a Some Girls, Rolling Stone abuser. I’ve listened to it twice. I just want summer to come already what the fuck! I want to be driving on the freeway in a Cadi, windows down with the one I love blasting Beach Blvd. and goin to the beach! Is that really to much to ask? Scratch Acid JUST KEEP EATING. I need to look up record stores in Harlem. I want to find a cute old man to hang out with all day and pick out 45′s with me. Fantasy. I made a tape with a friend. He wasn’t kidding when he said Townes Van Zandt makes beautiful things. Fare thee well Miss carousel. The Sparks. The Feelies. GISM. Pere Ubu. Holy shit they’re good. I have a million more to talk about but I’m raising my white flag in the air and saying goodnight cause I didn’t go to a show tonight so I’d sleep. What good that was.
